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I can’t tell you the number of times I hear that phrase when around other parents, even though it is highly ineffective.First, you are threatening a child, which makes them fearful of you.You can also train yourself to make sure the child fully understands your response, with “I just told you my answer. ” This allows the child to present their opinion or get clarification.Either way, the child is allowed to express their thoughts or concerns and feel validated without an argument. First, it creates anxiety and fear in the child, especially of the person who you are going to tell about whatever happened.Second, it ignores your responsibility to deal with the issue at hand and passes it to someone else.By the time a child has gotten in trouble for something, they already feel guilty, sorry and embarrassed about it.Telling a kid to not do something makes them want to argue or rebel.Train yourself to explain the reason behind your statement.

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It is wasted words to try to express a rule when a child is upset, as they focus on one thing at a time.I have spent a good deal of time on articles on the difference between Praise vs. This can sometimes present itself in an argumentative manner, but this is actually a normal part of development.Encouragement, and this phrase is arguably the most commonly spoken praise children hear. Instead of cutting off the conversation, you can say, “I know you want my answer to be different, but it will not change”.Instead, train yourself to say, “You realized that you jumped off the chair and got hurt when you landed on the ground”, rather than, “See, that is what happens when you jump off the chair”.The former acknowledges that the child already figured out the problem, but is still comforting.

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